Fathers, Daughters and Bath Time: Are We Solving the Right Problem?

A recent statement suggesting that fathers should stop bathing their daughters from around age one has raised an important child-protection conversation. The concern is understandable: children must be protected from inappropriate touching.

But should we create a general parenting rule because some men behave badly?

I do not think so.

There are single fathers, widowers, fathers whose wives work shifts, and fathers whose spouses live abroad. In practical terms, who is this ‘trusted woman’ who will be available every morning and evening to come and bathe a four-year-old?

In modern Ghana, most adults are working, busy or dealing with their own families. Trusted women are not sitting on standby waiting for an emergency bath-time call.

And if the concern is simply that a parent may touch a child’s private parts while bathing them, then should mothers also stop bathing their sons? Clearly, that cannot be the real solution.

The issue should be boundaries, not gender.

Bath time can actually become an opportunity for responsible parents to teach children: ‘These are your private parts. Nobody should touch you unnecessarily. If anybody makes you uncomfortable, tell Mummy or Daddy.’

As children grow, they should gradually be encouraged to bathe themselves and enjoy increasing privacy. But we should be careful not to create the impression that normal fatherly care is somehow suspicious.

A father bathing his young daughter is not automatically inappropriate. Sometimes he is simply a tired parent trying to get a stubborn four-year-old ready for school before 7:30 a.m.

Child protection should teach children to recognise inappropriate behaviour, speak up and trust their parents. It should not unintentionally create shame or distance between fathers and daughters.

Perhaps the better message is simple:

Teach boundaries. Encourage independence as children grow. Protect them from inappropriate touching. But do not make responsible fatherhood look like a threat.